I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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