OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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