If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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