I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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