She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
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or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
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someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.