i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
