I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
