You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
