True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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