If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
