Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
