There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
