Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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