yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Randomize
