remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
