Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
