Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
should my penis look like a turkey
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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