Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
