i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
