And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
