oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I want to be your penis for a week.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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