Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
it's like heaven, but drunker
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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