Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry futuremslautner hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(859): View more from Kentucky

Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?

Fav 13 968 5987
share tweet
(905): View more from Toronto

Cure to hiccups..road head..high five

Fav 28 5073 785
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(864): View more from South Carolina

I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.

Fav 30 6132 1457
share tweet
(805): View more from California

He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.

Fav 23 1963 2628
share tweet
(570): View more from Pennsylvania

My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener

Fav 8 2269 1857
share tweet
(210): View more from Texas

I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.

Fav 9 1015 2093
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(757): View more from Virginia

Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?

Fav 40 1273 2532
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(256): View more from Alabama

Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.

Fav 0 140 46
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(941): View more from Florida

I will not abuse the gift that was given to me

(954): View more from Florida

You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard

Fav 0 77 8
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT