i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
