I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
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I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
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Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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