i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
