yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
