Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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