THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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