The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
My day in three words: secret purse cake
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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