So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
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