Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
