An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
