You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
