terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
