The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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