all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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