You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
