Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
