Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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