need another drink. this is the easiest way
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
