we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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