Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
