she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
