The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
