Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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