butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I hate all girls vehemently.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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