i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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