i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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