I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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