I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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