Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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