i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
