found the other keg... it's in the tree
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
