no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
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Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
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I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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