he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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