I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
