he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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