sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
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Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
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They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
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