Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
It's shark week go big or go home
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
