Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
