I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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